This paleo, healthy Broccoli Salad is jazzed up with a curried cashew cream dressing. It’s a quick and easy side dish that is always a crowd pleaser!
Oh hey broccoli salad filled with innocent looking mini tree twins.
Why does your healthy, bright-green exterior need to be SO MISLEADING.
Are you confused? Do I have you HOOKED as to what on earth I am talking about? Yes?
The plan is working.
No? I’m going to ignore you. Just for right now though. Then I will continue loving you forever. <3
I bet you think I am talking about the association of broccoli salad being healthy because it’s, well, full of crunchy vegetal-friend goodness.
And then you DOUSE it in ALL THE MAYO and it more resembles a sweet potato salad, and only resembles a shadow of what nutritious broccoli once was.
HOW-EV-ER, I am NOT talking about that. Although that is a true statement. Just because it’s green doesn’t mean it’s clean and lean. It could be very mean.
Hi. I’m Taylor Seuss.
Anywho. What I AM talking about is the days back in the Old Country (read: Canada) and the night of my birthday.
I don’t remember how old I was turning. I am 24 and all, you can’t except me to remember things anymore.
My mother made a MASSIVE BOWL (like bigger than my face kinda massive. Except my face is kind of small, so that’s not the most accurate description. Whatever. You get it) of my favorite broccoli salad.
And, being “that kind of person” that falls in love with a food and then proceeds to eat it 100 times a day for all the evers (I’m looking at you cookie dough overnight oats and mango chicken with coconut cauliflower rice) I ate about ¾ of the bowl TO MYSELF. Like 3/4 of the WHOLE massive-size-of-face bowl. Not 3/4 of a singular-serving-sized-bowl
It’s my party. I can eat broccoli salad if I wannaaaaa.
Se also: go big or GO HOME.
What I had not learned in my juvenile not-so-experienced life is that raw broccoli? It does not do happy things to tummies if eaten in a portion that was SUPPOSED to serve 8 people. Is it just me or are “proper” serving sizes SOSOSO misleading?
I mean, have you ever actually measured 1/2 cup of ice cream?
Pro tip: Don’t do it. Unless you want to CRY.
I woke in the middle of the night, and I had the worst stomach cramps ever. I thought I was DYING you guys. I woke up my mom and told her that I loved her and that this would be the last night she ever saw me again, because I thought I had some rare, over-night stomach tumor growing inside of me.
Fun fact: I was a TOTAL hypochondriac growing up. I’ve lost count of the number of “tumors” and cases of “spinal meningitis” I’ve had.
You know what she did? Laughed and told me that’s what I get for eating too much broccoli. AND WENT BACK TO BED.
ON MY BIRTHDAY. I can’t confirm or deny that I’m still a little bit scarred by the lack of LOVE and FUZZIES I got that night.
Hint: I am.
Now that I’ve told you my broccoli life story, I just want to discuss the fact that the dressing on this healthy broccoli salad is about 1 million times healthier AND, the creamy factor? It’s from out of control CRAZY TOWN.
Like the avocado smoothie bowl from Monday, I used Cashew Cream to make this salad healthy and Paleo-friendly. But, I took a few notes from the Indian Paleo Chicken Kebab Recipe and added a LITTLE curry kick because spice is kind of my life.
Don’t worry thought. It’s just a LITTLE kick. Like when someone kicks you when you’re standing up. Not like a kick when you’re down.
You understand. Maybe.
Instead of raisins (because, really, they’re just icky, humiliated grapes) I used dried cranberries for a little pop of sweetness, and some MORE cashews and sunflower seeds for some CRUNCHYCRUNCHYYUM texture goodness.
Basically, this jealthy broccoli salad is nutritious comfort food. Comfort food that is GREEN and makes yo’ body feel GUUUUUD.
Just don’t eat it all in ONE serving.
Learn from my poor life choices.
Head over to WholeYum to snag the Healthy Broccoli Salad Recipe!
Want more Paleo friendly food?
Healthy Broccoli Salads from Around The Web:
Cold Broccoli Salad with Peppers – The Paleo Fix
Skinny Broccoli Salad – Belle Of The Kitchen