The classic witch fingers cookies get a healthy, gluten free, paleo AND vegan makeover! They’re easy to make and always a hit at Halloween parties!
I. Am. So. Excited.
So excited that I’m sitting here, at my computer, in my hello kitty pajamas (because, yes, you needed to know that) AT A LOSS FOR WORDS. LIKE, I can’t even figure out what to say except:
Halloween! Obsessingobsessingobsessing over it.
I mean, it’s my most favoritest holiday of the year EVER. Well, besides Christmas (mostly because of the ability to eat healthy ginger snaps.) Whatever. You get it. I just really love Halloween.
And you know what I also L-O-V-EEEEE? HEALTHY, Paleo Halloween treats! Not the ones that come in a pillow case (did you guys use those to trick-or-treat? Or were my parents just parentals from the BLOCK? Ie: Ghetto fabulous) that your maybe-equally-ghetto-fab parents need to make sure aren’t going to KILL YOU.
Side note: Pretty sure that was just an excuse for adults to get first dibs on the candy THEY wanted to eat, in the name of “safety.”
I’m looking at you MOM. *shifty eyes*
ANYWAY. I’m teaming up with another awesome group of bloggers: Lindsay from “Cotter Crunch”, and Erin from “Texanerin Baking” to bring to your healthy-but-OH-SO-spooky-treat loving faces a roundup of Paleo Halloween Treats!!!! <— !!!.
I just had to make sure you saw the exclamation marks. THAT excited you guys. Here’s the ghoulishg treats that these lovely ladies are bringin’:
Erin has these some creepy Paleo Bloody Eyeball Brownies! These paleo bloody eyeball brownies are frosted with a coconut butter based frosting and then topped with lychees and strawberry jam. The brownies are thick and chewy and make the perfect base for this quick and easy Halloween treat! Get the recipe by clicking —> Paleo Bloody Eyeball Brownies
Lindsay has some Bloody Deviled Eggs! Deviled eggs made to look like blood shot eyeballs! All you need are green olives, spices, eggs, and your favorite paleo condiment to mix in! A favorite spooky appetizer for the kids (and adults) at Halloween parties, but also easy to make and healthy! Get the recipe by clicking —> Bloody Deviled Egg.
If you follow me on Instagram, you KNEW these witch fingers were coming. Like, in August. Because I should tattoo “Hi peeps, my name is Taylor and I am a crazy in-advance-work-a-holic person.” TRUE FACT.
I also just really love Halloween. Combined with I work too much. #thisismyreallife.
I promise we’re going to actually talk about these classic Halloween Paleo cookies right now. Except, we do need to BACK ‘ER UP the word “classic.” I sort of-totally-do feel like I’m just THROWING that word out to make you think that my parents weren’t totally lame with the pillow case shenanigans, and gave me SOME cool Halloween-age growing up.
But, they didn’t.
Yes. I never did eat witches fingers in the years of my youth. It was all about the normal candy like almond joy no bake bars, homemade peanut butter cups and paleo homemade twix bars. Everything that I currently know about all things spooky and Halloween-y COULD be a lie.
I chose to be a blissful human and IGNORE that possibility. I mean, a life with almond joys and Twix isn’t really something to be mad about, you know?
BUT, I don’t ignore cookies. Especially healthy cookies that are Paleo PLUSPLUSPLUS vegan friendly and look SO real. Like, Mr. FFF’s nursey friends were taking photos of them and sending them to OTHER nursey friends to scare them. TRUE STORY. REALLY HAPPENED. PROUD MOMENT. <3 <3 <3
Besides the fact that they are soo0ooo0o00o scary and spook-tacular these gruesome, gory fingers for your cooking-munchin’-mouths are super easy. AND, for those of you that are concerned, taste NOTHING like a severed finger.
Not that I know what that tastes like. JUST TO CLARIFY.
They’re kind of like a shortbread in the sense that they’re more of a dry cookie. You know, the kind that go perfectly with your morning 10 cups of coffee? You’re picking up what I’m putting down.
Plus they’ve got this nutty-sweet flavor from the almond extract that makes the inner why-can’t-I-eat-a-jar-of-almond butter-for-every-meal person that I am SUPER excited about life and everything that goes along with it.
Like the easiest strawberry “jam.” That is not really jam at all, because you don’t need to slave it up in the kitchen for eleventy billion years playing with jars. This girl does NOT can things.
Before I let you carefully tread into the land of haunted-Halloween treats let’s go over the top 5 facts for witch finger success:
- Follow the chilling and freezing times. Hold it Cowboy. Don’t get all “wild wild west” (name that song!) on me and think you can just do your own THANG. Your fingers won’t hold their shape. Which will make you sad. And cry. IT HURTS.
- Resist the urge to cut the knuckles too deep. Then your cookies will crack in half when you remove them from the pan. See above points last two sentences.
- FROZENFROZENFROZEN strawberries. Not that you really want to buy fresh ones in October. Unless you don’t want your first born to go to college. That’s your choice not mine. BUT, frozen are key to ensure that your jam has enough moisture to get nice and THICK.
- I love you guys even more than I love Halloween.
- Above point isn’t really a cookie point. Buuuut I needed to fill two numbers. 🙂
Let’s get witchy with it.
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Paleo and Vegan Witch Finger Cookies
- For the cookies:
- 1/4 Cup + 3 Tbsp Honey *
- 1/2 Cup Coconut oil at room temperature (should be the consistency of softened butter)
- 1/2 tsp Vanilla extract
- 1/2 tsp Almond extract
- 1 Cup Coconut flour sifted (88g)
- 1/4 tsp salt
- 16 sliced almonds
- For the strawberry jelly: **
- 3/4 Cup frozen strawberries thawed and roughly chopped (170g - measured when fully thawed and soft)
- 2 Tbsp Honey *
- In a large bowl, using an electric hand mixer, beat together the honey and coconut oil and smooth and creamy. Add in the vanilla and almonds extracts and beat once more.
- Add the coconut flour and salt into the bowl and stir until well combined, and a wet dough forms. Scrape the dough onto a large piece of saran wrap and wrap into a flat, thin disc. Place into the refrigerator until firm and roll-able, about 25-30 minutes.
- While the dough chills, preheat your oven to 325 degrees and line a baking sheet with parchment paper. Set aside.
- In a small sauce pan, combine the chopped berries and honey and bring to a boil over medium heat. Cook the berries, stirring frequently, until they become very thick and smooth, about 13-14 minutes. Make sure to really keep an eye at them near the end of cooking time, so they don't burn.
- Transfer the berry mixture to a bowl and mash with a fork. Place into the refrigerator to set up.
- Remove the dough from the refrigerator and roll 1 Tbsp sized balls into 4 inch long finger-shapes, that are about 1/2 an inch thick. Place onto the prepared baking sheet and firmly press an sliced almond into the tip of the finger, to create fingernails. Remove the almond before baking. Then, using a small, sharp knife, make several horizontal, shallow cuts just under the finger nail, and then in the center of each finger, to represent knuckles. Lightly press in the dough on either sides of the knuckles to shape them. Place the whole pan into the freezer for 10 minutes.
- Once frozen, bake the cookies until golden brown, and lightly crackly (the cracks are normal, don't worry!) about 12-13 *** minutes. Let cool on the pan COMPLETELY.
- Once cooled, dip the bottom of the finger into the strawberry jam, so it looks like it's been cut off. Then, fill the finger nail space with a dollop of the jam, and press in a sliced almond.
Use equal parts agave for vegan
*You will only use about half of the jam, but it's hard to make a smaller amount with it burning.
***I found that using agave required a few more minutes of baking time, just 1 or 2 more minutes!
Store cookies in an air-tight container in the refrigerator. They will become crunchy, as the coconut oil will harden once chilled. Just let them sit at room temperature for a few minutes before serving, if you like a softer cookie.
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