Well it’s 2016. Already. HOW HOW HOW?
I just don’t get where 2015 went. But, it’s GONE.
Now that it’s January, you know it’s time for New Year’s Resolutions right? So, today’s reflections are about mine.
If you’ve been around here 2 seconds you would know that these Sunday Reflections have been chronicling my journey to try to gain weight and become free of the mental food battle that I deal with. Did I 100% succeed over 2015? Nope.
But, did I make some major improvements? HECK YES.
I’ve gained ALMOST the amount of weight that I need to be considered healthy…I’m hoping that I’ll be done my stupid diet plan in the next month or so. WOO HOO. I’m so done with weighing out all my food and eating to the point of being uncomfortably full, and I’m excited (but scared) to be onto trying to learn how to eat normally.
BUT, until then, I’ve decided that my short-term New Year’s resolution is to start eating “different food.”
You’re probably like “what?” Ummmm, honest moment…I’ve eaten oatmeal for DINNER for the last year. Every. Single Day. Well maybe except for the odd few times where we had a date night.
But, Mr. FFF? He does not eat oatmeal for dinner. Which, if you’re putting together the pieces, means that we have not sat down to the same meal for dinner in a year. WORST WIFE EVERY AWARD.
You’re probably wondering “what about all the food you cook?” I try just enough of it to know what needs to be adjusted, if anything, and then make the hubs eat the leftovers for his dinner. This is because the food I PERSONALLY create, scares me.
LAME LAME LAME. Especially because I really LIKE everything I make and WANT to eat it. Really badly.
However, it scares me that I don’t know the exact nutritional information of it, and it’s too hard to figure it out since there are usually lots of things mixed together (the nutrition label you see on recipes isn’t calculated till a lot later after a recipe is developed.) So, I eat oatmeal because it’s 2 things: oatmeal and fruit. Easy to calculate calories. Easy to make sure I don’t eat too much.
It’s pathetic. I want to sit down and make dinner for my husband. Or at least eat my own leftovers with him.
SO, starting…umm…yesterday…I challenged myself to not eat oatmeal for diner. Like, yesterday I had RICE. With OTHER STUFF all MIXED IN. It was scary. But it was also freeing.
Side note: I’m embarrassed just reading the things I’m writing right now. How lame is it that I’m writing about my triumphant rice eating? Just being real though.
Anyway. This is my short term resolution. To start eating what a normal human would eat for dinner so that, one day soon, I can have normal dinners with the most amazing man ever that I happen to be married to.
I realize today’s reflection isn’t really “Christian-y,” but this goal is part of my master plan to kick my eating crap to the curb and embrace the full, non-oatmeal-for-dinner life that God has in mind for me.
Side note: THIS DEVOTIONAL was a really great, quick read this week! You might like it too!
So, what’s your New Year’s Resolutions?
Blair says
Oh, you can do it!!! Congrats on how far you’ve come. 2016 will be another incredible year for you!
Taylor Kiser says
Thanks for the support Blair, it means so much that you didn’t judge me or think I’m some phony food blogger – seriously!!! Happy New Year!
lindsay Cotter says
friend, this is going to be that year!! no fear! God gives you strength to GO THROUGH all. I would have eaten all your food! hence why we should be neighbors. Or I would have dined with you. 😉 Always here for you. we all have our fears, and it’s good to share them with others so that we can pray and support.
Taylor Kiser says
You are always the best and most supportive friend ever. Thank you. <3
kristi says
Your doing great! I’m so excited about your step of faith! Remember every time you do something scary the next time you try it will be less so. it took a lot of courage to do what you just did. There is nothing lame at all about being happy that you ate rice for dinner. That was a huge triumph! I struggle with my eating disorder occasionally, but mine is nothing compared to yours I just wanted to let you no, that when it comes to eating disorders, your my hero! I believe in you!
Taylor Kiser says
That is SO true. I had non-oatmeal again today and I actually was kind of shocked by how much I liked it. Thank you for not thinking my rice dinner was lame…it was really scary to write this post and your support really means a ton! I’m sorry you battle with eating stuff. No matter the severity, it all sucks. I’ll be praying for you! Thanks again Kristi!!
molly says
hey I like that Proverbs 31 website! Thanks for sharing. I think I have MUCHOS room for improvement in all the D.I.E.T. but “Intention” is where I need to focus on the most!
I had no idea that you fear your own incredible food recipes. And I’m sure that wasn’t easy or fun to admit, so I admire your openness. I think that’s a great resolution and I’d love to be your blog friend accountability partner on that! 😉
For me, I hope to stay positive through a not-so-great life sitch I’m currently going through. I know I’ll make it out the other end, and just hope I do it all with grace! And lean on God’s grace of course 🙂
Taylor Kiser says
I am so glad you like that website! Intention was what spoke to me the most too…I’m pretty much the worst in that area ever.
Thank you for the support. Like, I was actually SO scared to hit publish on this post, for fear of people thinking I’m some food blogging phony, so it really means a lot that you’re not peacing out of here forever 🙂
I’ll be praying for you…and if you ever need to talk or whatever, you can always email me at [email protected] 🙂 Thanks again Molly, your support is the best!
jessica says
You are so brave to share your jouney! I am learning that little successes should be celebrated and they add up to a lot!
Taylor Kiser says
You are so right! They do add up! Thank you so much for the kind words – it was scary writing this post and hitting publish, so it means a ton!
Jessica DeMay says
This is so good! I struggle with the exact same thing! Everything on the blog I try a bite of then the hubby eats the rest. I eat the same thing everyday. It’s easy, comfortable, and not scary! I love that you admit this stuff. It may sound crazy to some people, but having had an ED, it sounds exactly like my life. Oh, and you are not lame!! I’ll be praying for you! <3
Taylor Kiser says
WHAT! I am not the only person struggling with this? I mean, I am really sorry you do, but I am glad I’m not alone! It does sound crazy to a lot of people, which is why I was soooo scared to write this post, but it’s just real. Thank you for the prayers, love and support! I’ll be praying for you too…switch it up! 🙂
Caytlin Shreve says
Aww Taylor, I am so sorry to hear that you struggle with this. But I am so proud of you and I admire your strength and courage so much for sharing that with us.. your bloggies 😉 hehe I will keep you in my prayers. Please don’t allow the enemy to steal the beautiful life God has planned for your life right out from under you You can do it girl! You can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens you! 😀 I believe in you Taylor and I know you will overcome! 😀 <3
P.s. I cannot wait to try some of your amazing looking recipes I bet they are MUCHO DELICIOSO!! ;-D
Love & Blessings
Taylor Kiser says
Thank you SO SO much for this totally sweet and encouraging comment Caytlin!! It seriously means a ton to me. I’m really working hard to take back the beautiful life that God has in store for me, and your prayers are SO appreciated!!! 😀