Hey party Sunday peeps! Are you ready for another installment of Sunday Reflections?
I am. So here goes.
This week was HYOOGE for me. If you remember the first week of Sunday reflections, I talked about my obsession with calorie counting and body image. Well, I am happy to say, that this past week was my first week in over 3 YEARS that I did not count my calories.
Like at all.
And you know what? I FELT SO FREE. I had more space to listen to the sermons, and to recall bits and pieces of them throughout the day. I listened to a really good one that gave me some nuggets that I found helpful during my “scary moments” of not counting calories through the week.
General synopsis: Basically how we have become slaves to the things of this world so much so that we have turned them into our identity.
What I learned: This sermon was MAJOR for me, as it totally clicked a light on in my brain. For the past years that I have had food issues, I have wondered why I can’t kick them. I have been praying and praying and asking God to take them, but it never happens. I realized that I have completely turned “Taylor with a food obsession” into my identity, let it define me, and I really don’t know what I would be without it. Would I still be loved, valued accepted etc, if I didn’t have this CRAZY strong will power and determination to always be ”perfect?” For so long, I always thought the answer was “NOPE!” But, then the sermon said that our identity has to lie in God, and then we will ALWAYS be valued, loved and accepted no matter what. Maybe this is really, really, really basic knowledge to you, but it’s just something that never really hit me. It really helped me as I went throughout the week and was like OH MY GOSH I ATE AN EXTRA BITE OF XYZ, WHAT WILL IT DO TO ME? HOW MANY CALORIES IS IT? I would counteract it with, why does it matter? Calories aren’t my identity, God is. He’ll think I’m cool even if I eat an extra 20 calories today.
Another note the pastor mentioned was that “Once you truly KNOW God, a relationship with him won’t be the ‘ideal’ you.” I have always felt this way about myself; I WISH I had this super all-consuming awesome relationship with God, that would make finding my identity in Him easier. But, truth be told, I really haven’t placed enough time and effort into getting to know him. If I did, I would completely want to be in that awesome, all-consuming relationship naturally, without having to work so hard to achieve it.
Well, that’s it for today. Until next week!