Hidey ho hello!
It’s Sunday, and it’s time for another Sunday reflections!
I need to warn you. I am a little bit worried about writing this one. Worried that you guys will think I have been a “fake Christian” or will judge me.
Because, as I sit here figuring out what the heck God has taught me throughout the last 2 WEEKS, that isn’t at all related to food (because I can talk at you about the same thing for SO LONG) I am drawing a blank.
And, you know what, I realize that is absolutely 110% terrible. I mean, TWO WEEKS? Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that He hasn’t been speaking to me, it’s just been the same old thing “you are more than calories etc.”
Like I said, we talked about that. A LOT.
Now, the fact that I have nothing to write about, sort of made me realize that I really do have something to write about.
My weak faith.
What I have to come to realize is that I have the MIND to have a SUPER STRONG faith and relationship with God. I am really TRYING. I listen to sermons every day, and try to read the Bible as well. Mr. FFF and I have started trying to remember scripture to repeat to ourselves whenever we both start struggling with our own personal “stuff.”
But, listening to eleventy billion sermons and knowing the Bible with my eyeballs closed, isn’t going to strengthen my faith, or my relationship, if I don’t truly have the HEART behind it.
The mind/desire to constantly walk with God can only go so far. And that is what I am struggling with: how to get the two to meld and become one.
One of the things that I picked up from a sermon that I listened to this week was that “to actually make a change, people need to see beauty in it, and God is beautiful.”
But, I realized that I haven’t really ACCEPTED the beauty yet. I know it in my head, but it’s not deep-rooted in my heart.
And, I want it to be. I want it to be VERY BADLY.
So, I want you advice. Do you guys struggle with this? And what have you found has helped you grow from just MIND faith, to MIND AND HEART kind of faith? I would REALLY love to hear.
Again, I hope you don’t judge me, or think I am fake for these struggles. But, I have always wanted FFF to be real and, well, this is real people.
Can’t wait to hear your thoughts! xoxo
molly rose says
love your honesty & being open with something we ALL struggle with time to time. It’s one thing to go to church, read your bible, memorize verses, but a totally different thing to put them into action and to WANT to put them into action. I struggle with wanting to do my own thing, my own way, with my “own power”. Only to be correctly put in place by Him. And thank good ness because my way leads to destruction. I’ve experienced it first hand. But He isn’t looking for perfection, just the right heart to seek after Him! Girlfriend you are NOT fake, don’t allow yourself to feel that way. You’re beautiful just the way you are! xoxo
Taylor Kiser says
Thank you SO much for your words of encouragement, and not judging me Molly! Seriously, just that alone makes me feel like I am not the worst human alive. I need to remember His grace. Of course, I don’t want to use that as an excuse to do my own thing (like you said, that never turns out well) but I need to remember He does give it for a reason! You’re the best! I hope your Sunday was awesome! xoxo
Allison says
Hi Taylor! I’m so blessed by this post as I have been trying to overcome the same thing. Nothing about your struggles makes you a fake Christian and I pray no one judges you for that. It makes you real. Everybody struggles, but the best part is that we have a good God to get us through them. Your honesty and humility is so encouraging. I can’t tell you that I have an answer to this struggle. I felt convicted recently of having my mind focused on having a deep and faithful relationship with God, but my heart wasn’t there. Prayer is helping a lot. Talking out the situation with God is where I would suggest beginning. He’s faithful in answering us and He will make your mind and heart one. It’s all about trust and I’m learning that as well. I’m not sure if this helps but just know that you’re not alone. Praying for you!
Taylor Kiser says
It SO SO helps knowing that it isn’t just me! These kind of “inward struggles” can feel SO SO alone, because it’s not something that you really talk to people about? I am glad that my honesty has helped YOU too, just like knowing I am not alone has helped me! I will also pray for you..we got this Allison! Hope you’re having a great Sunday!
Liz says
I try to live each day being kind and understanding with others and try not to hurt anyone or be mean to anyone. I find this gets easier as we get older, or maybe we just understand things better. The world is not a pleasant place and I just do my best to live in it and to get along. Have a good day Taylor.
Taylor Kiser says
That’s great Liz! I am glad to hear that it gets easier 🙂 Have a great Sunday too!
Katharine says
I struggle with this too. I never feel like I pray enough, read enough, meditate enough….anything. But THANKS BE TO GOD that His Son died for us so that we don’t have to “earn Heaven.” Jesus paid the price for US so that WE could have fellowship with God. That is just unbelievable to me and such an awesome and precious gift! That in of itself keeps me on a path towards Christlikeness, albeit not a perfect one. But God doesn’t expect perfection from us; He gives us infinite grace and love and mercy and compassion and forgiveness and so many other good and wonderful things. This is a lifelong process, and He is with you the whole journey. Give thanks for what you have been able to do, and take comfort in knowing that whatever you do in Christ WILL bear much fruit.
Taylor Kiser says
THANK YOU SO MUCH KATHARINE! You are SO right! I guess I sometimes feel like I abuse God’s grace and use it as an excuse to fail in the depth of my spiritual walk, but I need to remember he doesn’t expect perfection! Such great words, thank you again!
Lily Lau says
Sunday’s always the most philosophical day… 🙂
Taylor Kiser says
Yes it is 🙂
Julie @ Girl on the Move says
Oh my goodness Taylor, you are SO not alone in this! I celebrated my birthday this weekend and in our family that means reflecting on the past year and looking ahead to the last year and I actually found it frustrating to look back at the past year. There are issues (being at single at 32) that I thought I was past and had a peace about them but then I realize that I don’t think the peace is deeply rooted in my heart. In my head I get the idea that God has a plan but deep down in my heart I sometimes wonder. And this frustrates me because I so badly want to have that peace to the core of my being…but just don’t know how to get it :/
Taylor Kiser says
First off, happy belated birthday!!
Well, I am sad to hear you’re struggling, but it does help me to know that I am not alone!! I don’t know if this is weird to suggest, but have you tried online? I met my husband on ChristianMingle.com and I know that it was God’s plan for me to marry him, eventhough I initiated it by going online!
Julie @ Girl on the Move says
I’ve thought about online dating…maybe I need to give it a try!
p.s. God clearly knew I needed to hear about this because our sermon at church tonight was on this very topic!
Taylor Kiser says
WHAT?! DO IT. There are a lot of weirdos, I won’t lie. BUT, I did meet my husband and he is THE most incredible man of God. Just try!!!