Hey Sunday peeps!
We are finally settled here in Missouri…and things have been CRAZY BUSY.
Honestly, a ton of not-so-great stuff has happened to us, and we’re both kinda like “WAS MOVING THE RIGHT CHOICE?!”
But, God’s got it. We know that.
HOWEVER, these past 2 weeks have also been a huge win for me.
MANY Sunday reflections back (I don’t even remember which one it was) I was SUPER honest with you guys about how my own recipes actually freak me out. Aaaand, I usually just taste a few bites, to make sure it’s YUM, then pawn it off on Mr. FFF or – gasp – just THROW IT AWAY, because I can’t figure out exactly how many calories are in it and, therefore, I can’t eat it.
And then Mr. FFF and I eat different meals, so I can just eat some easy-to-measure-food and live in my happy little food-obsession land.
In that same reflection, it was my goal to start eating ALL of my own food, and eat the SAME thing with Mr. FFF at least once a week.
TO be honest, that did NOT happen when we were in WA.
But, when we moved, I decided God was giving me a fresh start – time to truly change my ways and really rely on him. To live LOVED and accepted even if I gained a few pounds. He does NOT care about my body fat percentage.
So, when we moved 3 weeks ago, I decided EVERY. SINGLE. RECIPE that I made would be FULLY eaten. No throwing away, no tasting one bite. EVERY. SINGLE. NIGHT we would sit down at 6:00 an eat dinner (the same dinner) together.
And, if I didn’t have a real meal to test (I mean, I can’t serve brownies for dinner…or can I?) then I would make something we loved in the past, OR try someone else’s recipe FOR FUN. Really, I just wanted to eat dinner together every night like a normal couple.
You guys. I HAVE STUCK TO IT for 3 WEEKS. We have had dinner together more in the past 3 weeks than in all 4 years of our marriage.
This sounds silly but, at first, it was REALLY scary. I had been eating the SAME dinner for 4 years (no lie) so branching out was AHHHHHH.
But, it’s gotten so much easier as I’ve seen
- How Mr. FFF loves it.
- How much I enjoy sitting down to a meal together
- How much I actually REALLY love my own recipes.
I hope that doesn’t sound conceited. But, I do only share food with you that I LOVE, and always just getting a few tastes of the yumminess always made me sad. But, I just was scared to do more.
Side note: after the first reflections when I wrote about how I never ate ALL of my own food, I got some pretty negative response about how I am a food blogger who doesn’t eat her food. So, I want to make sure you know that I have ALWAYS tasted it each time I work on the recipe.
But, NOW, I am 100% truly, really eating what I share with you.
Anyway, I know this isn’t super “religious and Sunday like.”
However, I wanted to update you on the status of my issues because I am a real person who goes through stuff every day.
I’m slowly learning to try to see myself as God sees me: fearfully and wonderfully made.
He doesn’t care about the number on the scale or my body fat percentage.
Happy Sunday!
Sarah says
Thank you so much for sharing this! I am currently struggling with trying new recipes and making things bigger than a serving size because it is harder to figure how many calories are in a 4+ serving recipe. It is still an eating disorder control thing that I am holding on to. I set the goal to try one new recipe a week to share with my boyfriend. I have been nervous to do it but this post was a helpful reminder that this isn’t just about the food! It is also about making memories and trusting God and my body!
Taylor Kiser says
YES! This is exactly what I have been struggling with too and why I have been eating plain chicken breast and something like toast with avocado on top -EASY to figure out calories, BUT not good for the goal of freedom! Totally get holding onto the control 1000%!
Yes. Memories over macros is what I repeat to myself! And, we need to remember that, although maintaining God’s temple IS important, it’s more important to WORSHIP in it…and worship means freedom! You GOT THIS Sarah! <3
Krysten@freshfitkitchen says
Taylor it’s like you were in my brain. I’ve been thinking a lot about how to share some food issues I am working through on my blog with my readers. To be honest, I was fearful of those “nasty comments.” After all I am a “healthy food blogger” shouldn’t I have it together. I talk about eating right and eating healthfully and now I am about to figure out how to tell people not to obsess over healthy and how “UNHEALTHY” that can be. It all feels like a contradiction. My point is, good for you working through this. Life is to be enjoyed. You should enjoy the fruits of your labor. You should embrace all that you love, because you’re right. God thinks you’re absolutely perfect, so enjoy that time with your husband and don’t worry about the calories. Savor every moment. 😉
Taylor Kiser says
Oh giiiirl, those nasty comments are going to come and, I’ll be honest, they really hurt me. But, 99% of the people that ready your honesty are going to appreciate it, and A TON are going to identify with it!
People NEED to hear about moderation more – with all the crazy diets out there. Healthy is good, but it can turn into an obsession REAL quick. I have had zero percent joy chasing a 6 pack, and people need to know the “body of their dreams” won’t bring happiness! I encourage you to be honest 🙂
And thank you so much for the encouragement! Life IS to be enjoyed! 🙂
Also, you have my IG. I am open to chatting <3
Molly rose says
So so happy to hear this Taylor!!
Fresh starts are seriously the best, and I’m glad you took advantage of this one in this way.
Ps never throw it away, just send it down here to Tampa so I can eat it k thx
Taylor Kiser says
LOL! I wish I could do that!!!! 😉 Thank you so much Molly!!