Before I get into this post, I just need to have a moment of silence for my Siamese fighting fish, Rafael. He died this morning. I woke up and thought he looked weird, but I fed him anyway. Then my hubby came home and was all “uh…why did you feed a dead fish? He is on his back” Oh. That’s why he looked weird. Ok, moment over.
Now, it’s time to be real with you lovely peeps. This loaf was a complete and utter fail at first. I tried to use pistachio flour and the middle didn’t cook, the top sunk in like someone punched it in the face (loaves totally have faces.) and it was salty x 100000. I like salt guys, but not when it kicks me in the taste buds. Apparently I am violent when I am grieving. I tried it a second time. It was a lot better. The hubs even took it to a potluck at work and it got eaten in 5 minutes, so I took that as a win. But, they say that the third time is a charm, so I listened to the elusive “they,” and did it a third time. Imagine this: It’s 90 degrees out and your oven has been going non-stop all day baking 3 loaves back to back and you have zero air conditioning. Yep, that was my life this weekend. Fun times had by
all no one.
After tasting the third loaf though, it was worth being a sweaty pile of gross all day. Oh, and worth losing all my finger tips ’cause no one here sells pre-shelled pistachios. Add my finger tips to the list of things Taylor is in mourning over today. I know I say this a fair amount, but I REALLY mean it this time…I want to eat this loaf every single day for ever and ever and ever. It is perfectly sweet-but-not-too-sweet, and has that awesome little crunch from the little pistachio chunks. It’s one of those things you feel like you should feel guilty about eating but you totally don’t have to ’cause it’s actually healthy y’all! It’s a total pull-the-wool-over-your-taste-buds-eyes recipe. You know what else? This loaf is just so dang pretty. It’s one of those things you can bring to parties and get lots of oohs and aahs and everything thinks you slaved in the kitchen for millions of hours to make. But, guess what? You didn’t! So much trickery in this post, it’s getting ridiculous.
It has a slight green color that isn’t alien looking like some people have thought about the avocado chocolate chip cookies. This is a lovely green that really looks gorgeous with the vibrant cranberry pieces. Then there is the golden brown, crunchy crust that is topped with more golden brown, crunch-a-licious toasted pistachios. If Halle Berry and Brad Pit had a baby, I bet a million dollas that it wouldn’t be quite as pretty as this. Don’t actually take me up on that bet though. It’s totally hypothetical and not real in any way shape or form.
So do yourself, and anyone else who eats food in your household, a favour and make this loaf. And, hey, if you for some crazy reason don’t like it, I’ll need more if I am going to be eating it every single day for ever and ever.
- 2 Cups Whole Wheat Pastry Flour
- 1 oz (1/4 cup) Sugar Free instant pistachio pudding mix
- 2 Cups Splenda
- ¾ tsp Salt
- 2 tsp Baking powder
- 1 tsp Ginger powder
- 2 Eggs
- 1.5 Cups Sugar free vanilla almond milk
- ¼ Cup + 2 Tbsp Plain, fat free Greek yogurt
- ¾ tsp Vanilla extract
- 1 Cup Dried cranberries, diced
- ⅓ and ¼ Cups pistachios, chopped (will be divided)
- Preheat your oven to 350 Degrees and spray a loaf pan with cooking spray.
- In a large bowl, mix all your dry ingredients: Whole wheat pastry flour, pudding mix, Splenda, salt, baking powder, and ginger powder.
- Dice the cranberries and pistachios. Stir ⅓ cup pistachios and all the cranberries into the flour mixture. Set aside.
- In a medium bowl, lightly beat the 2 eggs with a fork.
- Stir in the vanilla almond milk, Greek yogurt and vanilla and stir until well combined.
- Slowly add the wet ingredients into the dry, a little bit at a time.
- Stir just until moistened and you do not see streaks of flour. Do not overmix!
- Pour into the prepared loaf pan and sprinkle with remaining ¼ cup chopped pistachios.
- Bake for 50 min – 1 hour, until golden and a tooth pick comes out clean!
- Let cool for half hour in the pan, and then turn onto a wire rack to finish cooling completely.
- Once it is completely cooled, slice and eat eat eat!